Black Love: Building Authentic, Resilient Connection
“Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.” - James Baldwin
Black love is historic and ancestral. Through unwavering commitment and unconditional love, Black people have persevered through countless struggles.
But love is also imperfect and unpredictable. Love is a battle. Love is uncomfortable and eye-opening. This couple experienced love in its full form and fought through the battle of growing in a relationship.
Recording artist Maj3sty just finished performing at his college, North Carolina Central University, when he heard a cypher, a freestyling event where artists can display their talents, was happening across the street. Walking into the event without love on his mind, Maj3sty didn’t know he would be crossing a path to a new relationship.
Entering the event Maj3sty felt a girl watching him. Impacted by past experiences, Maj3sty ignored her, thinking most women’s intentions weren’t genuine. But the eyes stayed on him and eventually Maj3sty spoke up.
“I see you looking. Are you going to speak?” Maj3sty said to the girl.
Hydia, a student at NCCU walked over and introduced herself.
Previously, while jogging on campus, Hydia noticed Maj3sty and thought to herself, “I wouldn’t mind that being my boyfriend.”
“She saw me before I saw her because she was spiritually ready. Oftentimes when you’re praying for something and you’re not ready for it, the Most High is going to keep it away from you, blind you in a way for you not to see it.” Maj3sty said.
Leaving the cypher Hydia and Maj3sty sat in the car and talked for hours. The conversation sparked a vibe neither had felt before. A mental and spiritual connection was formed that moved them like waves.
Maj3sty was heavily impacted by Hydia’s mind and soul.
Hydia walked back to her dorm and told a close friend, “I feel like he’s going to be my husband.”
Joined through music and spirituality, Hydia and Maj3sty’s journey together unfolded. Having dated for over a year now, the couple has grown through their struggles and learned what it truly means to love each other.
In 2018 a life-changing event hit Maj3sty’s life. After suffering a major car accident and almost going headfirst through the windshield, Maj3sty suffered from frequent seizures. This accident impacted not only his body but his mind and soul, as it changed his life perspective.
Laying in bed with Hydia during her first night staying over at his place, Maj3sty began having an unexpected seizure. Maj3sty began shaking uncontrollably and foaming at the mouth. His previous experiences with relationships caused him to be guarded when it came to accepting help from women. He felt he needed to form independence and handle things on his own.
But Hydia changed Maj3sty’s point of view, as she immediately supported him and stayed by his side.
“Normally I do not react well to situations like that. I kind of freeze. But something told me, just be there for him and if you don’t know what to do at least hold him.” Hydia said.
Hydia rolled Maj3sty over and held him until he fell asleep. This moment of intimacy and act of loyalty was a symbol of the love and connection that was forming, beyond physical attraction.
Strong communication through both the ugly and beautiful moments has kept their relationship authentic and resilient. Even when the battle is becoming strenuous, Hydia and Maj3sty communicate openly and in a way that is effective.
“If we didn’t talk about it, if we didn’t let ourselves have our bad moments and then try to embrace each other and enjoy the good moments, I don’t think we would still be together. I think that’s why a lot of relationships fail because it evolves after you don’t work on the communication.” Maj3sty said.
The root of the couple’s bond has been to identify and embrace who they are individually so they can both show up authentically in their relationship.
“That’s where Black men need to start. You need to overcome and embrace where you are, what you’re going through. You have to actually believe in something. There’s nothing wrong with taking the gold chain off and the gold watch and the rings and the crystals and getting to the root of who you’re supposed to be.” Maj3sty said.
A deepened sense of spirituality and self-transformation has also shaped their relationship. Taking the time to grow and learn more about yourself while you are learning to love another person is a significant part of forming a long-lasting bond.
“Pray, surround yourself with positivity and have alone time because it’s good,” Hydia said.
The stigma of therapy and mental health is strong within the Black community. Statistics show that only one in three African Americans that struggle with mental health will ever receive the treatment they need.
Hydia and Maj3sty have worked through breaking this stigma, as they have both gone to therapy separately and together. They believe in seeking therapy to evolve on a healthy and truthful path.
The couple is currently working through strengthening their bond and continuing to build a relationship with a foundation of spirituality, trust, communication and openness. They are also navigating a journey through celibacy and abstinence.
“I viewed sex as something to do whenever I’m upset or I feel sad and that’s not how sex should be. It should be an exchange of energy and emotion and love shared between two people.
She matches my vibration and that’s the sexiest thing in the world. If you have a woman that matches your vibration her spirit becomes the most beautiful thing.” Maj3sty said.
Becoming celibate and abstinent helped the couple practice patience and rediscover what they truly mean to each other.
“I agreed to it because at that time I don’t think we were in a very good space. To me it was like, maybe we do need to do this to see if this is really what we want and if it is then maybe there are some things that we need to realize about ourselves.” Hydia said.
Hydia and Maj3sty are still growing and learning what it means to love each other authentically and limitlessly. Their love represents adoration that expands beyond physicality and taps into a spiritual, mental and emotional connection. Black love is powerful and this couple’s relationship is a symbol of what it means to fight through the war of love and find peace in the growing experience.
“I’m not with you for you to become a better woman for me, I am with you because I want you to become a better woman for yourself. I want you to become a better woman so you can have a better relationship with the Most High. And if you can become a better woman for another man and I helped with that then I did my job. It’s not a matter of me owning you.” Maj3sty said.